All couples have arguments about things but there are some arguments that are more common than others. Recurring arguments take a toll on relationships and have the potential to degrade and destroy the relationship. The three most common arguments with couples are about sex, money, and children.
- Sex: This is probably the most frequent source of conflict between couples. Often there are disagreements about the frequency of sex with one person feeling their needs are not being met and the other person feeling harassed or badgered. Some couples argue about who does the initiating, the lack of foreplay, sexual position, or sexual acts. Most arguments are driven by differences in wants, needs, preferences, and sex drive or libido. Underlying this conflict are the couples struggle with communication and knowing how to navigate towards negotiation and compromise.
- Money: The issues related to money that couples argue about are numerous and many. Examples include what to spend money on, how much to save, what we are saving for, wants versus needs, whether to merge money or keep it separate, how bills should be divided and paid for, how to create a budget, or what should be included in the budget. Conflicts have the potential to increase when money is running short, couples are going into debt, fighting about how to get out of debt, or who is responsible for the debts. Rarely do couples see eye to eye on money management, goals, strategies, or processes.
- Children: The last topic couples are especially passionate about are children. Many couples find themselves arguing even before they have children. They may fight about whether to have them, when to have them, how many to have, names, and so much more. Sometimes there are arguments while trying to get pregnant especially if there are issues with fertility and deciding to what extent the couple will go to have a child. Once children arrive a whole new set of possible arguments crop up such as who will get up with the child in the middle night, whether one parent should stay home to raise the child, what to feed them, how to dress them, parenting, and disciplinary measures, degree of monitoring and supervision, and so much more.
- Others: Although sex, money, and children are the top three things couples argue about, there are several other commonly occurring issues with couples. Some of the other common topics couples fight about are divisions of labor, in-laws, the timing of life events, quality time together, pet peeves, jealousy, friends, communication, work, control, and politics.
Maple Grove Psychiatrists
If you are looking for help and direction navigating these issues with your partner, feel free to contact IPC so you can schedule an individual or couples consultation with one of our psychologists or therapists so we can help discuss treatment options. Please call us now at 763-416-4167, or request an appointment on our website: WWW.IPC-MN.COM so we can sit down with you and complete a thorough assessment and help you develop a plan of action that will work for you. Life is too short to be unhappy. Find the peace of mind you deserve.
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