How Do I Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome?

What is Empty Nest Syndrome?

Empty nest syndrome is a term used to refer to parents whose children have moved out of their home. The syndrome part of facing an empty nest generally refers to the grief and loss that many parents feel after the kids have gone. Many parents feel a void around letting go of the parenting role and that piece of their identity. Although parenting never really ends, it takes a great step down in priority and focus and becomes much more peripheral with adult children. Many parents feel sadness, loneliness, and loss as their homes that were bustling and busy are now quiet and absent of voices, demands, and needs. The empty nest syndrome has historically impacted mothers more than fathers. Mothers from a traditional model were more likely to play a central role in parenting, rearing, and caring for children and this represents an added loss of identity and being needed.

Who is More Susceptible to Empty Nest Syndrome?

Some parents are more prone to empty nest syndrome and may take longer to recover from it. Those parents who are in unhappy and strained marriages are more likely to struggle with empty nest syndrome. In many of these cases, parents may have been deflecting and avoiding issues in their marriage and throwing themselves into parenting and being distracted by staying involved and busy in their kids lives. Some people are susceptible by virtue of their struggle to deal with change. Some people are flexible and handle change gracefully and others struggle to adapt and reset. As noted above, those parents who derive a significant portion of their identity from full time caregiving may be more likely to struggle with the transition to an empty nest.

All that said, most parents empty nest syndrome is fairly short lived. For many it only lasts a few months and for those struggling it can take up to 18-24 months. There is also new research that is showing more positive outcomes stemming from the empty nest syndrome. For many, they find a newfound sense of freedom to explore new things. Others take advantage of the opportunity to reconnect with spouses and other friends and bolster these important relationships.

How Do I Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome?

There are a variety of ways to cope and deal with empty nest syndrome. Many find that idle time can cause them to dwell in grief and sadness. Consequently, many people find that staying busy and making plans is a helpful distraction as well as fulfilling and enjoyable. Some use their time to travel and go on adventures and work on their bucket list. Using the time to exercise, get in shape and meditate are helpful for some. Making plans in anticipation of the empty nest is also wise. Be proactive rather than reactive. Find new hobbies, sign up for a class, start setting dates to reconnect with friends and find some positive things to look forward to. Creating new routines is always helpful as most people are creatures of habit. This could to a night with friends, a date night with your spouse, and a class you were thinking of. Having things on your calendar helps most people. Some people need to more actively process and work through their feelings or grief and loss and seeking support from other friends and neighbors who have experienced this can be helpful. Additionally, many seek out counseling and therapy to help them have a safe venue to work through the change and transition.

If you are interested in talking to a professional to help you through empty nest syndrome and would like to meet with one of our therapists, feel free to contact IPC so you can schedule an appointment.  Please call us now at 763-416-4167, or request an appointment on our website: WWW.IPC-MN.COM so we can sit down with you and complete a thorough assessment and help you develop a plan of action that will work for you. Life is too short to be unhappy. Find the peace of mind you deserve.

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