One critically important aspect of therapy is whether your therapist is a good fit with you. People come to therapy to work through some extremely intimate and personal issues and make themselves more vulnerable than they do with most people in their life. Feeling safe and comfortable is a necessary precursor to opening up and talking about difficult matters.
How Will I Know if My Therapist is a Good Fit?
You may have gotten a great referral from a friend or family member who sings the praises of a therapist and tells you how wonderful they were and how much help they got from the counselor. Your therapist could have some of the best credentials and graduated from some of the finest institutions, but if you are “not feeling it”, therapy is not likely to be productive or helpful. Most therapists during the initial intake will take a portion of time to talk a little about their background, training, experience, and approach to working with clients. This can sometimes be useful information, but more often than not it may come down to trusting your gut. Sensing if your therapist is a good fit is not dissimilar to sizing up a potential friend or date. General appearance often plays little role in things; it is more about the flow of conversation and all the little subtle things. This can be body language, their confidence level, their relative and perceived intelligence and insight, their responsiveness to things you say and share which could be emotional, verbal, or nonverbal. Most people are able to develop a sense within the first or second session about whether they like the therapist and feel comfortable with them. We always encourage clients to give it one or two sessions and determine if you think you are feeling comfortable enough and can see yourself being able to become increasingly vulnerable with the therapist over time. Research shows that most people will go through three therapists before they find a good fit. The lesson here is to not get discouraged and give up and assume therapy just isn’t for you. Therapy to immensely beneficial, especially when you have a good fit.
Is There Anything I Should be on the Look Out For?
Although not universal, there may be some things to be mindful of or on the look out for during those first couple sessions. One thing to know is whether you are looking for someone to listen and process or someone who can provide some direction and tools. Many people believe they have the answers within themselves and are not interested in being told what to do. They simply need to process and come to their own conclusions and decisions. A more directive therapist may not mesh well with this style. Conversely, we have had many clients say their last therapist was a great listener, but they really wanted more direction and tools. Many therapists are able to flex their style and approach if they know what the client is seeking. If you know this about yourself, make it known. Like any relationship, there are some things that are irritating and annoying. If your therapist seems disinterested, distracted, cuts you off, judges you, talks over you, or continually talks about themselves, they may not be a good fit. These are not the kind of friends you want to surround yourself with, don’t do it with a therapist just because they have some letters after their name. If you see red flags, don’t waste your time and money, just move on to the next one, but don’t give up. Just like dating, there is someone for everyone. Keep looking and find them. It will be very rewarding.
If you want to meet with one of our psychologists or therapists, you can contact IPC so you can schedule an appointment. Please call us now at 763-416-4167, or request an appointment on our website: WWW.IPC-MN.COM so we can sit down with you and complete a thorough assessment and help you develop a plan of action that will work for you. Life is too short to be unhappy. Find the peace of mind you deserve.
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